Choice and compulsions

I'm a true believer that I have some control over my life. Not everything is unique in my life, but to an extend I do not follow or support some ideologies that a lot of people believe in. I'm not a guy who would like to peek into someone's life to do what I do (may be, not always). Some people address me as a self-disciplined, but I consider myself as a man of attitude. Sometimes, people would evaluate you with your face and will come to an assumption that you are disappointed and unhappy. They are not always right about my case as I believe that I am a person who is already living a life at its 'almost perfect satisfactory' level. In life, there are a lot of things which are to be done because of 'compulsions' and for some others, I always had a 'choice'. If I am capable enough to make a choice, I would always choose 'choice' in my life. 

I could be an open book in my life. I wouldn't do much things that couldn't be exposed in public and it is the major source of a factual thought that I'm literally doing 'nothing' in my life. I believe that I am not easily 'provokable' as I used to defend most of my friend's  unacceptable suggestions with a simple smile(things have changed a bit though). I believe that I haven't advised much people to be like me, except here in the blogosphere(I'm not pretty sure about it, but if it had happened that couldn't be my mistake. Why can't you notice an 'x' button on your browser?) . I can't understand why some people are still provoking me to give them false hope by wasting their time. I am ready to face the consequences of what I did in my life and normally, I wouldn't try to escape from those consequences.

If I am about to do something, I used to be cautious about some parameters. The first and the important thing is to ask myself whether I should do it or not (Nothing spontaneous, but there are some exceptional cases). I do not know how I regretted for an accidental insult on a very strange woman which was happened a long time ago and I still remember a lot of such incidents that may not be a notable incident in the memories or thoughts of the victims. I do not do everything I like to do in my life, but it will be appreciable if  people can stop blaming my 'fear' for not doing the thing I never intended to do. I'm not completely dependent on compulsions in my life. It is a fact that I haven't done everything I intended to do, but there are things that I've left undone and it is more likely because of my choice.

NB: I hope I haven't used the word 'you' in this post as this is all about 'me'. Anyway, if you have some suggestions feel free to comment. I'm always happy to 'simply smile'.:)

Sincerely

Raghu

The true inspirer!

I'm the most important part of my life for sure. I always have something to say when it comes to the most complex subject of my life :'me'. But, I am a victim of a lot of criticisms and analysis for which, I always had a response of an irregular smile( Just a reflex action to show that 'I am not entertained!'). Some people believe that  I am living a very miserable life of 'being pathetic and perfect'. At present, I am free to do a lot of things in my life. I am not independent, but I can decide a lot of things that my father wouldn't interfere. But, I wouldn't do all the things that I can do as I define my perimeters and boundaries of my life. I have always been questioned for the things I didn't do in my life, but none of those questions had provoked me to change what I really stand for. 

In many occasions, I was put aside for the choices I made in my life. I never regretted for any of those occasions and I am well trained to accept that it is just the way I am. I do not know how many times I've heard of a question 'Who are you afraid of? No one will tell anything to anyone' . I smiled at them, but that is not enough. I have an answer for that question. 'I am not afraid of anyone, but I have a person to whom I need to justify and it is myself. If you can keep hiding it from him, I would do whatever you want to do in my life'. I am the best teacher of my life and I enjoy doing everything my way even if it may not sound perfect to others. I was criticized by my mother when she noticed that I am not engaged in any art or creativity, I was criticized by some of my friends as I never had a good socializing capabilities, I was criticized for not showing some courage to  make 'a cheap comment' on a girl. I always had some ideologies in my life that are defined according to the needs of the situation. I do what I feel like I am doing. But, I really enjoy getting criticized for something. 

I have done a lot of things in my life by following other's path. But, I always knew that their paths were uncomfortable for me.I am pretty sure that many of those criticizers would understand the reason for being me, if they had an opportunity to have my brain and experiences of life. I do what I really wanted to do in my life and I really like to have a respectable, humble life. I may not have a good reason to look into your definitions as I have given enough thoughts on how my life should be. It is not difficult to convince me with your ideologies, but they are supposed have some reason other than 'This is what everybody does!'. Because, that is the most stupid reason I've ever heard in my life especially when it comes in ideologies and role-models of my life. It is just like 'I like Anna Hazare because the word 'Anna' sounds funny to me' which is quite irrelevant though. I see and analyze things and I do believe that the real and genuine part of life is not in howmany years I lived or the number of experiences or sufferings I happened to face, but  it is all about what you really find worthy of noting, which could change your life. You can always remain the same even if you live a life of 100 years. I choose not to be blind by shutting by eyes and it doesn't look like a mistake!!!

I value a lot of things in my life. Sometimes, those invaluable things of my life might look like a very simple thing in other's life. I always want to be unique in my life and whenever I face a criticism,which could never ring a bell in my mind, I am at an extreme point of self-respect in my life. No matter what other's believe, I really like being me and it is not going to change if I remain in my perimeter and boundaries. This is the true inspiration of my life. To be a respectable man, I am supposed to do something respectable!!!

Sincerely,

Raghu

Why should I lead a disciplined life?

I think, discipline involves some sort of sacrifices to everyone. From my early ages itself, I've been hearing a lot about discipline and still it continues. When I was doing my primary school, my school principal punished me by a pinch on my ear for using crackers( I do not know the exact word for it. I think, I can call it 'baby crackers' as it was so small) at school. I never stopped using crackers afterward and that punishment was a pure wastage of time. The disciplinary actions I've ever heard in my life were purely compulsions! I was afraid to use crackers again at my school, but I always had the tendency to use it until I leave the school. I've noticed a lot of people who are extremely attracted to well disciplined schools for their children. I still do not know how these disciplines are measured but, it doesn't make much sense to me. 

Disciplines and disciplinary actions are mostly for building up of mannerism! I believe in one thing, these compulsions are not going to help me gain anything in my life. I never followed all the disciplinary actions I've learned at school. I've always found some tendency to get indisciplined when I was at school.But, some of them remained in me. So, what should I do? I have to destroy this tendency to get indisciplined. My grandfather was also like this, he always used to wake me up at 6 O'clock in the morning which I hated more than hell. Yesterday, I slept at 1O'clock and woke up at 8! But, one day I'm going to realize that waking up at 6 is making much better sense than sleepless late nights!! That is wisdom!!

Who are these discipline makers? Mostly, they are highly matured and experienced people who got some idea of the value of disciplined life! And I do respect them. But, no one can ever compel me to follow their rules and make me look like a disciplined man as I'm already disciplined in my own way! You can convince me to be like you by your wisdom but, never force to implement your level of discipline to my life. It can have a very negative after-effect!! If some disciplines are not making much sense in any part of my life, I am not going to accept it. Discipline should have some intention or aims. If it is good or fair, I might be able to accept if not, I will get back to what I was.

A few years before, my parents used to complain a lot about my addiction to internet, but I do not regret for this addiction. That is the way I am today. I'm not allowed to use mobile, laptop etc at my college. Does it make much sense? Mobiles or laptops are not always bad words. They can be misused but, they are not built for misusing. A security camera is used in a place where the security is under trouble and if there were no trouble, the invention of security cameras will be a waste of time and energy. So, my point is simple. If a rule for making us disciplined is not capable of destroying the 'tendency to get indisciplined', that action is purely non-sense! I lead a disciplined life because I'm not going to gain anything by an indisciplined life either!

"Life is great if you live the way you want to be, but it will be greater if you let others live the way they are!So, avoid unnecessary interferences..."


Sincerely,

Raghu