October 24, 2011

Choice and compulsions

I'm a true believer that I have some control over my life. Not everything is unique in my life, but to an extend I do not follow or support some ideologies that a lot of people believe in. I'm not a guy who would like to peek into someone's life to do what I do (may be, not always). Some people address me as a self-disciplined, but I consider myself as a man of attitude. Sometimes, people would evaluate you with your face and will come to an assumption that you are disappointed and unhappy. They are not always right about my case as I believe that I am a person who is already living a life at its 'almost perfect satisfactory' level. In life, there are a lot of things which are to be done because of 'compulsions' and for some others, I always had a 'choice'. If I am capable enough to make a choice, I would always choose 'choice' in my life. 

I could be an open book in my life. I wouldn't do much things that couldn't be exposed in public and it is the major source of a factual thought that I'm literally doing 'nothing' in my life. I believe that I am not easily 'provokable' as I used to defend most of my friend's  unacceptable suggestions with a simple smile(things have changed a bit though). I believe that I haven't advised much people to be like me, except here in the blogosphere(I'm not pretty sure about it, but if it had happened that couldn't be my mistake. Why can't you notice an 'x' button on your browser?) . I can't understand why some people are still provoking me to give them false hope by wasting their time. I am ready to face the consequences of what I did in my life and normally, I wouldn't try to escape from those consequences.

If I am about to do something, I used to be cautious about some parameters. The first and the important thing is to ask myself whether I should do it or not (Nothing spontaneous, but there are some exceptional cases). I do not know how I regretted for an accidental insult on a very strange woman which was happened a long time ago and I still remember a lot of such incidents that may not be a notable incident in the memories or thoughts of the victims. I do not do everything I like to do in my life, but it will be appreciable if  people can stop blaming my 'fear' for not doing the thing I never intended to do. I'm not completely dependent on compulsions in my life. It is a fact that I haven't done everything I intended to do, but there are things that I've left undone and it is more likely because of my choice.

NB: I hope I haven't used the word 'you' in this post as this is all about 'me'. Anyway, if you have some suggestions feel free to comment. I'm always happy to 'simply smile'.:)

Sincerely

Raghu