October 24, 2011

Choice and compulsions

I'm a true believer that I have some control over my life. Not everything is unique in my life, but to an extend I do not follow or support some ideologies that a lot of people believe in. I'm not a guy who would like to peek into someone's life to do what I do (may be, not always). Some people address me as a self-disciplined, but I consider myself as a man of attitude. Sometimes, people would evaluate you with your face and will come to an assumption that you are disappointed and unhappy. They are not always right about my case as I believe that I am a person who is already living a life at its 'almost perfect satisfactory' level. In life, there are a lot of things which are to be done because of 'compulsions' and for some others, I always had a 'choice'. If I am capable enough to make a choice, I would always choose 'choice' in my life. 

I could be an open book in my life. I wouldn't do much things that couldn't be exposed in public and it is the major source of a factual thought that I'm literally doing 'nothing' in my life. I believe that I am not easily 'provokable' as I used to defend most of my friend's  unacceptable suggestions with a simple smile(things have changed a bit though). I believe that I haven't advised much people to be like me, except here in the blogosphere(I'm not pretty sure about it, but if it had happened that couldn't be my mistake. Why can't you notice an 'x' button on your browser?) . I can't understand why some people are still provoking me to give them false hope by wasting their time. I am ready to face the consequences of what I did in my life and normally, I wouldn't try to escape from those consequences.

If I am about to do something, I used to be cautious about some parameters. The first and the important thing is to ask myself whether I should do it or not (Nothing spontaneous, but there are some exceptional cases). I do not know how I regretted for an accidental insult on a very strange woman which was happened a long time ago and I still remember a lot of such incidents that may not be a notable incident in the memories or thoughts of the victims. I do not do everything I like to do in my life, but it will be appreciable if  people can stop blaming my 'fear' for not doing the thing I never intended to do. I'm not completely dependent on compulsions in my life. It is a fact that I haven't done everything I intended to do, but there are things that I've left undone and it is more likely because of my choice.

NB: I hope I haven't used the word 'you' in this post as this is all about 'me'. Anyway, if you have some suggestions feel free to comment. I'm always happy to 'simply smile'.:)



October 16, 2011

Dear lonely fellows...

I talk a lot to some people. This might be a little surprising fact for some of my acquaintances who are supposed to be my friends. Sometimes, I just explode a head on completely unknown people without any intentions. A few months before, I met a guy in a train and he just started talking about his life and his experiences and all of a sudden, I began to talk and I am almost sure that he should have cursed the time when he decided to talk with me. I was thinking about a lot during that journey and I still got no idea of why I talked to that guy. But, it is more like an explosion of my thoughts that I never planned to express to anyone. I was alone and thoughtful and he was just a victim!! I always used to pretend like I never cared of being alone in my life. I used to have a mobile/laptop to make others believe that I'm involved in something, but is a fact that I'm not always entertained by a mobile or laptop in my life. I'm always thoughtful when I am alone and I'm never bored at any times of my life. It is kind of weird, I know!!!

A few months before, I happened to hear an astonishing fact about family relationship status of our country. In the past, there were joint families where a lot of members lived together as a family. When it became intolerable, people began to live nuclear families. Now-a-days, old age homes can be seen in every corner of the country. Some are paid and some others can accept the 'unacceptables'. Which is a clear evidence of tearing up of nuclear families. The only reason for the current count of married couple in this country is inadequate judicial facilities. If getting a divorce is easy, there will be a lot of people who would like to get a divorce. Sometimes, it is just a fact that every single human is alone in his own world. But, his thoughts and his world is really important in his life. Check out this video.

This video is a thought provoker in my life. In my future, it is possible that I would think of a movie like this and I believe that everybody is already imagining their life in a similar manner. The word "I" is not always greedy. Sometimes, it shows self-confidence and in some other times, it shows unacceptability of one's ideas in other's life. I'm a little heroic in my life though it may not inspire anyone other than me. 

Recently, I happened watch an interview of Sri. Kamal Haasan(In my view, calling him an 'actor' is an understatement to what he really is) in which he said something like this "At the age of 21, I thought I am a lonely genius and decided to kill myself". See? He was lonely too and quite recently I happened to read an essay of Albert Einstein in which he addressed himself as a 'lone traveller'. These two are quite inspiring examples for sure. I know, I am not the only one who is suffering from an irrelevant "No one cares me!" kind of thought and this could motivate people like me  for sure. Loneliness is just a fact and it is better if we could accept and stop thinking about it. 

No one can accept you better than yourself because no one knows you better than yourself.